Discipline at work

A friend of mine asked me why I had been sacked from the factory.
I answered "because of sickness"
"What was wrong with you", he said.
"Nothing", I replied.
"Then why were you sacked?"
"The boss got sick of me".

In my next job I was sacked for stamping on a snail.
The same friend thought it was a bit harsh.
"Sacked for stamping on a snail for God's sake, why?"
"The snail had followed me around all day"..............


The same night my wife bought a new type of sweet from Sainsbugs -
Lemming meringue.

I had great trouble eating it as it kept leaping off the table.