Saturday, September 30, 2006

What's in the news

Gosh, shock horror, oh my word!
The Daily Mail tell us that Eamonn Holmes has finally succumbed to the ravages of time and gone under the knife to enhance his features. Well, apart from the fact that he's the same age as me, I couldn't give a monkey's whatsit. Who cares what he does? Really important news isn't it?

The announcement that human rights lessons are to be given to kids as young as 11 makes me wonder if our glorious leaders are carrying out a bit of gentle brain-washing, preparing our young chicks for the even more PC world of the next decade. Watch this space.

Sony had better watch out, with their faulty batteries. Duracell are waiting in the wings. All they need to do now is develop a laptop computer that takes rechargeable AAA's and they're away.

Apparently, scientists have studied Mona Lisa's smile (you know, the painting). I should really have a competition and ask you what she's thinking to make her grin like the proverbial Cheshire. This must have been a slow news day at the Mail.

a) John Prescott has quit. Now, be honest, who wouldn't smile?
b) She can't stop thinking of John Prescott in his stocking suspenders
c) Thank goodness that 15th century is over at last.
d) ooh, that's better
e) She had a bacon sandwich for lunch.
f) Leonardo da Vinci doesn't realise his flies are undone.

Answers on a postcard. No, scrub that, click the comment button.


Eh! I've found something even MORE stunning than old Eamonn's surgery. Wait for it.... YES, Anne Diamond has lost 4 stones.


Who carries stones around with them anymore?

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